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Inside the barely standing building, a gruff security guard will seize your passport before you climb five flights of stairs to your boyfriend’s lair.

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Even if he left his family back in Siberia, these overprotective matrons will find an excuse to visit Moscow as soon as you enter the picture.

While your boyfriend is in the bathroom, they will explode with praise for their perfect progeny: But you never really figure out what Ivanushka thinks about the whole situation.

Note: From time to time, I get questions asking me for Russian-related advice, which I am perfectly qualified to give, for a number of reasons that I don’t feel like getting into. It’s true, that in their high school phase, they may waver and start pulling shady Eastern European gimmicks such as selling cell phones. In fact, one Russian acquaintance sells both cell phones AND real estate. You can call up DJ Oleg if you need a house in the Philly area or are looking to have some great Ban De ROS tunes at your upcoming nuptials. Family-Oriented: One of the reasons to marry into a Russian family is because, in addition to your husband, you also get the mother-in-law.

You should probably consult your lawyer and primary physician before reading. The mother-in-law is awesome, in contrast to American mother-in-laws.

Russia – the culture, history, politics and women are all mysterious.

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